When its too late

Its hard to believe that one second can change your whole life around. You sit there in disbelief , thinking to yourself, why? Why now? Why you? Your in a different state of mind, by far the most insane one you have ever been in. You see things in a different light, on the other side of the shoe. And the worst part about that is, you live in regret. If you would have done things differently maybe you wouldn't feel this way. Sometimes you feel as if its going to eat you alive. And other times your fine. You try to keep yourself busy to stop thinking and crying, but sometimes that doesn't work. You try to talk and make jokes but your the only one laughing. Is it possible that people can see through your fake jokes and laughter? See that your not you anymore? That it may appear to be you, but in fact your not there at all. You look around and don't say a word, knowing very well that you don't belong. At times you just want to be left alone. You don't understand yourself, so don't expect anyone else to, either. You just wish they could stop judging. All that you know is what you thought mattered to you before doesn't matter at all. You cherish what you had and not what you have. You know what your doing is wrong but you don't care enough to change it.

To do list..

Its time to write down all the things I want to do before this year is over. And see how much I get to do. Me being the kind of person that I am, I never get a chance to do many things. I am constantly postponing things. I am what you can call a procrastinator, one day that will catch up with me, but it hasn't yet so until then.

• Go to the new Water Taxi Beach in the South Street Seaport
• Go to 6-flags (If my mom takes us)
  
• Get a tan (If I ever wake up early enough)
• Stay at the beach till sunrise
• Rock climbing at Chelsea Piers.
• Take the ferry to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.
• Go to a game at the new Yankee Stadium
• Go Skydiving in Long Island in hopes of conquering my fear of heights (Most likely this doesn't happen since I'm terrified of heights)
  

I hope I can do most of the things on this list before the summer is over. I think it can be done if I don't postpone them. We'll just have to see what happens.

Governors Island... Its free, get out!

I have been M.I.A for some time now, since its the summer time and all. I made a few plans to go to some places and do some new things. I visited a place called Governors Island, which is a real island. Its only a ferry ride away and the ferry is free. You can do it all there, go biking, history tours, canoeing, have a picnic and so much more. The island is only open Friday - Sunday 10am- 5pm I believe. And they supply you with all the things you need, and its all free. Like the bikes, they had over 300 bikes and as soon as we got off the ferry people were running towards the bikes like it was Christmas Eve and they had to get there 3 yr old kid the last Tickle Me Elmo or else. I wanted to go canoeing but it was getting late and we had to leave. I just ended up going canoeing on Tuesday for free in the Hudson River. We always seem to do cool things with no camera. But I will surely have a camera next weekend when we go to the Water Taxi Beach. Check out the website below to see all the cool things going on at the water taxi beach. I can't wait to get on The Shark.

http://www.watertaxibeach.com/south_street_seaport

http://www.circlelinedowntown.com/shark.asp

The Outsider

Ever felt like you didn't belong somewhere? You look around, and say what am I doing here? You'll notice that isn't your atmosphere anymore. You feel like the odd ball, most of the time. What if you feel that way towards your family? You look at them, then yourself and say "Damn, why are you the way you are? Why am I the way I am?" You'll have a ton of things in common but at the same time you'll be so different. You notice more and more that everyone but you, has a lot of the same tendencies. All you know is that you are different, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. Soon enough you change some things about you to fit in and later realize that isn't you at all. Being you and nobody else is great. I wouldn't change it for the world. So yes I am an Outsider, looking in.

I get it, your a tough cookie!

Of course, whatever is going on will be blamed on me, great. I kind of learned to embrace it. Just when I thought everything had finally blew over, it didn't. People are writing the craziest things now and days and I just don't have the time to keep up. I will admit somethings about me were funny, really made me laugh. Can everyone, Everyone just drop this stupid situation already. Hiding behind a computer screen and keyboard will never solve anything. Latoya say what you will about me but there isn't any point in this. I can fend for myself. I'm just kicking back on the sidelines.

What emotion is the opposite of love?

Who would have thought that T.V could be so educational. Putting one to think on such an intellectual question. Is the opposite emotion of love, hate or is it apathy? My first thought was hate. Hate is still admitting that you have some type of feelings towards that person. So then I looked up the word Apathy and thought the opposite of a strong emotion is a weak emotion or no emotion, thus apathy. That response in itself is a good debate question. Some would argue 'is there a such thing as having no emotion', or ' is no emotion, merely ignoring or denying our actual emotional feeling' ? Why couldn't this question be as easy as day and night, or white and black?